How did this happen to me?

I'm meant to be a gardener - well that's what I was onel of the things I was meant to do. I've got the van, the wheel barrow and the web-site.

So how come I came to be employed building Giant Lego men out of resin for a Dutch artist - whose name I have never heard.

How come that has happened to me?

Because of Josh that's how come... he met the artist at a party in London and you can picture the scenario can't you? Do I need to fill in the gaps? The bullshit that was passed between them? The egos massaged? The lines chopped out?

I don't have to fill in the details do I?

The only thing you need to know is that Josh turned up at our flat on Monday and explained to me that what with it being Autumn and everything and CZ Gardens not doing so well and the glop-house DJ sets not really paying the rent... would I like to build a giant plastic Lego man for his mate... who was an artist and was Dutch.

No, he didn't know why he wanted why he wanted to giant plastic Lego man.

No, he couldn't buy one off Lego.

No, he wasn't taking a cut for any work I did.

So I've got a month, some plans, a lot of resin and vinyl and Josh sitting in the back of Russels garage watching me as I figure out where to being...

That's why I'm online now...

Researching...

How did this happen to my life?