My Black Eye

Yes that is my eye - and that is blood in it... I'm lucky I can see.

Looks cool though doesn't it? Though I'm not going out for anyone to see it... not after what happened yesterday.

I went to see the Shreddie swap incident in Ditchling you see. I was in the van and kind of took a detour and parked outside the village hall eating sandwiches and watching across the road. It was raining and I sat in the front and ate my floppy sandwiches and watched as the windows steemed up.

I was there for what 20-minutes - nothing happening - and then there's a knocking on the car window and ajump and spill my sarney and wind the window open a bit. There's this builder outside, big bloke, chubby, wearing a hard hat and an orange jacket - and I look at him and he says something to me... and it sounds kind of Polish or something... and I'm like "what?"... he just stares at me so I wind the window down some more and a great fist busts into my face.

I'm telling you he just hits me and then walks off.

And I just freak - well I fall over and then freak - holding my face and giving a bit of a wail because I'm not really cut out for this - this being punched in the face business - it doesn't really suit me.

I get out the car and he's gone. It's raining, I'm standing there, confused, looking around... a woman walks past with a dog... she looks at me.

I get in the car and go home.

I thought Lucinda would be all over me w but she just took it in her stride. Gets all mumsy over me, bathing my eye, taking the picture - the one above, but she tells me not to bother with the police.

She asked me what I was doing in ditchling, hanging around in the rain... I told her garden supplies... she gave me a look that said "uh-huh I hear you" and left it at that...

I can't really explain can I?